Author Topic: Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?  (Read 4572 times)

Halfdim7

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Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?
« on: June 15, 2010, 11:15:06 PM »
So a C, an E-flat, and a G walk into a bar...
The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So the E-flat leaves, and
the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is
diminished and the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the
situation, but is not sharp enough.
Then a D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse
me. I'll just be a second." Then an A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not
convinced that this relative of C is not A minor.

----------------------------------
Thanks to Trekker1 for sharing this.
....lame-ass, jive, pseudo bluesy, out-of-tune, noodling, wimped out, fucked up playing....

millions

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Re: Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2010, 05:33:43 AM »
Milton Babbitt and Charles Wourinen were looking at a score of Babbitt's.
"Why did you use that particular row transform in that manner?" asked Wourinen.
Babbitt replied, "What should I have done? Used the retrograde inversion of the original row?"
They both began laughing.
"In Spring! In the creation of art, it must be as it is in Spring!" -Arnold Schoenberg
"The trouble with New Age music is that there's no evil in it."-Brian Eno

funkle

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Re: Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2010, 05:47:13 AM »
OK, that one flew over my head Millions :)

Scott Henderson:
"If I ever had to use D'Addorio strings, I'd give up music and become a drummer"

Halfdim7

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Re: Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?
« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2010, 10:05:53 AM »
"the retrograde inversion of the original row" ROFLMAO!!!

Hey Funkle, it's D' Addario!
Scott's always good for a humorus jackass remark!
....lame-ass, jive, pseudo bluesy, out-of-tune, noodling, wimped out, fucked up playing....

millions

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Re: Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2010, 05:48:14 PM »
It's a tongue-in-cheek joke. That sort of subtlety doesn't translate well over the internet.
"In Spring! In the creation of art, it must be as it is in Spring!" -Arnold Schoenberg
"The trouble with New Age music is that there's no evil in it."-Brian Eno

funkle

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Re: Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?
« Reply #5 on: June 17, 2010, 07:22:39 AM »
It's a tongue-in-cheek joke. That sort of subtlety doesn't translate well over the internet.

I think Ø's response brought it home :)

Halfdim7

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Re: Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?
« Reply #6 on: June 17, 2010, 11:22:33 AM »
Thanks, Funkle. I try my best ;D
....lame-ass, jive, pseudo bluesy, out-of-tune, noodling, wimped out, fucked up playing....

FatJeff

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Re: Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?
« Reply #7 on: June 18, 2010, 09:55:23 AM »
Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Philip Glass.

Halfdim7

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Re: Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?
« Reply #8 on: June 18, 2010, 10:25:48 AM »
@FatJeff> Very nice! :D
....lame-ass, jive, pseudo bluesy, out-of-tune, noodling, wimped out, fucked up playing....

Adji

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Re: Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?
« Reply #9 on: June 23, 2010, 03:33:11 PM »
Haha.

Here is a very BAD one hah.

What do you get if you push a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor.

Halfdim7

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Re: Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?
« Reply #10 on: June 23, 2010, 04:24:37 PM »
Well, okay. Heard any music theory jokes, lately?
We're inclusive here. ;D
....lame-ass, jive, pseudo bluesy, out-of-tune, noodling, wimped out, fucked up playing....

Swain

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Re: Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2010, 10:35:22 PM »
"Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?"

No.

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 :P

Actually, the Phillip Glass joke killed me!
I had to sit back with some fine, dehydrated wine and listen to 4:33 all over again.

Halfdim7

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Re: Heard any good music theory jokes, lately?
« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2010, 02:12:48 PM »
Not a joke, but as the great poet Steven Miller would say "a Po'm"
From :http://everything2.com/title/Pat+Metheny+on+Kenny+G

Richard Thompson on Pat Metheny on Kenny G

Richard Thompson was so inspired by Pat Metheny's essay that he was moved to compose the following ditty. In Richard's words, "I've given it a kind of Scottish lilt for no good reason, just, uh, those are just my roots, man."

I Agree with Pat Metheny

    I agree with Pat Metheny
    Kenny's talents are too teeny
    He deserves the crap he's going to get.

    Overdubbed himself on Louis
    What a musical chop suey
    Raised his head above the parapet.

    Now Louis Armstrong was the king
    He practically invented swing
    Hero of the twentieth century.

    Did duets with many a fella
    Fatha Hines, Bing, Hoagy, Ella
    Strange he never thought of Kenny G.

    A meeting of great minds, how nice
    like Einstein and Sporty Spice
    Digitally fused in an abortion.

    Old Kenny fans will doubtless rave
    while Satchmo turns inside his grave
    Soprano man's bit off more than his portion.

    (There's more)

    Brainless pentatonic riffs
    Display our Kenny's arcane gifts
    But we don't care, his charms are so beguiling.

    He does play sharp, but let's be fair
    He has such lovely crinkly hair
    We hardly notice we're too busy smiling.

    (You're a fan aren't you? You like him. I can tell, I can tell by the look)

    How does he hold those notes so long?
    He must be a genius... wrong
    He just has the mindlessness to do it.

    He makes Britney sound like scat
    If this is jazz I'll eat my hat
    An idle threat I'll never have to chew it.

    So next time you're in a rendezvous
    And Kenny's sound comes wafting through
    Don't just wince, eliminate the cause.

    Rip the tape right off the Muzak
    Pull the plug or steal the fuse, Jack
    The whole room will drown you in applause.

    Yes, Kenny G has gone too far
    The gloves are off, it's time to spar
    Grab your hunting rifle, strap your coat on.

    It's open season on our Ken
    Yet I await the moment when
    We lay off him and start on Michael Bolton

    Oh, I agree with Pat Metheny
    Kenny's talents are too teeny...
....lame-ass, jive, pseudo bluesy, out-of-tune, noodling, wimped out, fucked up playing....